I'm in the middle of editing my latest project, a YA paranormal tentatively titled UNLEASHED. I've enjoyed working on it and I feel I've got the basic structure down, the tension-filled first chapter, the relateable hero, the page-turning chapter endings, etc..
But what I don't have is a great first sentence. As it is now, it reads: "Claire opened the door to Bodian Dynamics, ignoring the puff of cold, chemical-smelling air, and walked inside to a pale green lobby." Boring! And too long for my taste.
I'm in the camp that a novel's first sentence sets the tone for the entire story, and I love authors who pay special attention to this. I'll still read and enjoy books that don't do this, but I really appreciate the ones who take the time to tell me something in that one opening sentence.
A couple of my favorite first liners are:
"There was a hand in the darkness, and it held a knife." The Graveyard Book.
"Where's Papa going with that axe?" Charlotte's Web.
I looked back at a few of my first sentences from previous projects and this is what I found:
"I always knew my father was a monster, but watching him torture someone other than me made me ill." The Devil's Fool. I like this one.
"Lucien stood, head tilted upwards in the center of a long alleyway between two abandoned warehouses." The Devil's Angel. I don't like this one. Needs work.
"My name is Mommy." Confessions of a Cereal Mother. Not bad.
Now share some of your first liners. Do you like them? Do they need work?